Addison & Jace ::: en route

So I know November is the month of thankfulness, but I always seem to be behind the curve so I’m just going to say what I’m thankful for today, on December 1:

1. Vacation Trip to the Carolinas. Last week, Addison and I spent a delightful week off in the Carolinas. We visited her mom in Asheville, NC; her dad and stepmom in North Augusta, SC; and my family in Easley, SC. It was just wonderful to see everyone and spend time together. From a fabulous trip to Biltmore House to some rousing card playing to a delicious meal of no less than 20 dishes — we were treated to quite a good time. It’s tough to live far away from family and miss everyone all the time — and this visit was so rejuvenating. 

2. Denver. Although seeing family was lovely, being back in the Carolinas, even for just a week, reminded me of why we left. A genderqueer lesbian like me just doesn’t fit in the South. As a result, coming back to Denver has felt really good, really right. After just a year, Denver feels like home to me. It feels like a place that fits us. I’m so incredibly thankful that we’re here.

3. My job. Today, I celebrate two months in my new position: Deputy Director at One Colorado. I started as Online Communications Manager, then became Communications Manager, and now Deputy Director. In just a year, I have been able to learn and accomplish so much, and I’ve been given so many opportunities. After many years of wondering what my path in life really is, I’m so happy that I’ve found work that energizes, challenges, and fulfills me. I’m incredibly lucky.

4. Our friends. It’s tough to be far away from family, but it’s true what they say — sometimes you make your own family. And that’s exactly what we’ve done. With every passing weekend, our calendar fills up as we enjoy dinners and brunches, game playing and events with some of the most incredible people we’ve ever known. We’re so lucky to be surrounded by such awesome folks.

5. Addison. My wife is the most incredible person I know. Everyday, she inspires and supports me. She takes care of me when I’m sick, even though I can be a grumpy bugger. She feeds me and dresses me when I just can’t decide what to wear. She listens to me rant and rave. She makes me laugh, and she surprises me. Addison is truly my other half, and I don’t know what I’d do without her. The work that I do, the battles that I fight for equality, I’m fighting them for her and for the family we hope to have someday.

-Jess

Addison and I have just returned from another week of vacation. I know, you’d think we have tons of money since we’ve recently traveled to California and Atlanta, and we’ve just returned from another trip. But that’s not the case. We don’t have money. We have credit cards.

Anyway, the wife and I took a week off to drive Anne (Addison’s mother) up to New York City. You see, after spending the summer in famously hot Columbia, Anne is starting her last year of seminary in NYC, and she had accumulated so much cra…I mean, stuff…while staying down South that she really need an SUV (or two) to help her get it all back up north. Addison and I being the helpful people that we are volunteered to drive her and her stuff all the way up to Manhattan. So we took a week off, and we went.

The trip started out with a bang. We left early Saturday morning, and we were cruising through North Carolina when my Explorer warned us that there was a problem with the “charging system” (read alternator / battery / something necessary). We got on the phone with a family friend who works on Fords, and he encouraged us to get some help. So we found a dealer, and $600 (and three hours) later, we were back on the road.

Our travel day was very rainy, and the traffic was fucking horrible so we didn’t make it all the way to NYC on Saturday. We stopped in Virginia just outside of DC, stayed the night, and finished the trip on Sunday morning.

Sunday evening was one of the highlights of the trip. Addison and I went to see Next to Normal, a Broadway musical about an American family that is incredibly beautiful, emotional, and full of amazingly talented actors and singers. I can’t say enough good things about it. It made me feel every emotion under the sun. It moved me. 

On Monday, we were off to Boston, and at the risk of losing my job because my bosses read this, I’ll tell you that I went for a job interview. I interviewed for a Director of Marketing job with the Family Equality Council, a national GLBT organization that focuses on family issues. This job would be a dream come true because ever since I started volunteering with SC Equality, I have become incredibly passionate about working with a GLBT organization and fighting for GLBT rights. I believe activism is my life’s calling, and getting this job would be me answering the call. Of course, it’s early in the process so who knows what will happen…

Addison and I had a great time while in Boston. It’s an awesome city. Really historic. Really pretty (beautiful harbor area, just amazing). Really good, simple public transportation. And full equality. There’s just something about full equality that feels good. And trolleys. We took a trolley tour and loved it. After spending a night there (and yes, we know that isn’t much), we think we could live there. It would be tough to be far from family, but it’s a great city.

We returned to NYC after our brief stint in Boston, and on Wednesday, we headed to Montclair (the city in New Jersey that I lived in for 14 months). God, it was great to be back. Montclair is an adorable little town with great restaurants. We had awesome Indian food (man, I’ve missed it) and ate at a couple of “old favorites.” But being in Montclair wasn’t the best part (though I certainly enjoyed showing Addison my old “stomping ground). Seeing my friend Elissa was the best part. Elissa was my best friend in NJ and one of the greatest friends I’ve ever had. We were both TAs in our grad programs, and we ended up spending lots of time together. We bonded instantly, and she’s truly one of my favorite people in the world. I was SO very happy to see her and to have Addison meet her. We had a great time together catching up. I just wish I could see her more!

Our remaining days in NYC (Thursday and Friday) were simple. We hung out a lot with Anne, helping her get her new apartment set up and visiting the church where she works. We went to a design museum (can’t remember the name right now), ate yummy food, rode the Staten Island ferry, met up with some of Addison’s old friends (one of which took us to a couple of gay bars), walked through (and got lost in) Central Park, and basically just hung out around Chelsea and Manhattan.

Both Addison and I have taken many trips to NYC so we’ve done the “touristy” stuff; thus, instead of jumping from attraction to attraction, we tried to soak up NYC life because, of course, we were evaluating it as a possible “place for us.” But, like Atlanta, NYC didn’t feel right, especially after having experienced lovely Boston which did feel like a place we could call home. Manhattan is just  too overwhelming and way too busy for me. I’m not a fast-paced girl, and although the diversity and vibrancy of the city is appealing, the speed stresses me out. So to get me to NYC, you’d have to put me in Brooklyn or the Jersey suburbs because Manhattan makes my head spin. But I’d much prefer San Francisco or Boston…or…probably lots of other places.

Now we’re back in Columbia. In our house that we hate not because it isn’t cute but because it is in a neighborhood where houses get broken into and because it is in Columbia where we just don’t feel like we belong. Here we are, wishing we were somewhere else.

-Jess

Addison and I went to Atlanta last weekend (July 24-27), and to be honest, we were on a fact-finding mission, not just a vacation.  We wanted to see if we liked Hotlanta as a potential place to live because it is the closest big city to all of our family. Plus,  it’s known for being a gay-friendly city in the South.

As we explore our moving options, the topic that gets debated the most is proximity to our peeps.  We want to be somewhere we feel accepted and embraced, but we’re just not sure we want to move really far away (like to…say…San Francisco).  So before moving across the world, we decided to look into the only city in the South known to accept gay folk like us.

Unfortunately, Atlanta just isn’t right for us.  It’s a feeling you get, you know?  When I arrived in San Francisco, I had this amazing feeling; it felt like a place that could be home.  Atlanta didn’t feel that way.  It felt full of traffic and hot and inaccessible.  San Francisco felt historic, beautiful, and embracing—with fantastic weather and great public transportation.  Atlanta just didn’t give me this feeling of “home.”  I was profoundly aware that I just couldn’t see myself living here.

Um…I fear I’m going to be “stuck” comparing everywhere to San Francisco because it is such an amazing place.  Atlanta failed the test.  I wonder how upcoming cities will fair.

Unfortunately, there isn’t much to report about our actual vacation.  We didn’t do all that much exciting stuff because we really didn’t enjoy the city.  We hit all the tourist spots like the aquarium and Coke museum, but they were so full of people that it was hard to have fun.  The highlight of our weekend (how sad is this) was the trip we made to Ikea.  It was Addison’s first time so naturally, she was impressed.

So…with Atlanta off the list and a semi-wasted weekend vacation behind us…our quest for “our city” continues…

-Jess