Addison & Jace ::: en route

So I know November is the month of thankfulness, but I always seem to be behind the curve so I’m just going to say what I’m thankful for today, on December 1:

1. Vacation Trip to the Carolinas. Last week, Addison and I spent a delightful week off in the Carolinas. We visited her mom in Asheville, NC; her dad and stepmom in North Augusta, SC; and my family in Easley, SC. It was just wonderful to see everyone and spend time together. From a fabulous trip to Biltmore House to some rousing card playing to a delicious meal of no less than 20 dishes — we were treated to quite a good time. It’s tough to live far away from family and miss everyone all the time — and this visit was so rejuvenating. 

2. Denver. Although seeing family was lovely, being back in the Carolinas, even for just a week, reminded me of why we left. A genderqueer lesbian like me just doesn’t fit in the South. As a result, coming back to Denver has felt really good, really right. After just a year, Denver feels like home to me. It feels like a place that fits us. I’m so incredibly thankful that we’re here.

3. My job. Today, I celebrate two months in my new position: Deputy Director at One Colorado. I started as Online Communications Manager, then became Communications Manager, and now Deputy Director. In just a year, I have been able to learn and accomplish so much, and I’ve been given so many opportunities. After many years of wondering what my path in life really is, I’m so happy that I’ve found work that energizes, challenges, and fulfills me. I’m incredibly lucky.

4. Our friends. It’s tough to be far away from family, but it’s true what they say — sometimes you make your own family. And that’s exactly what we’ve done. With every passing weekend, our calendar fills up as we enjoy dinners and brunches, game playing and events with some of the most incredible people we’ve ever known. We’re so lucky to be surrounded by such awesome folks.

5. Addison. My wife is the most incredible person I know. Everyday, she inspires and supports me. She takes care of me when I’m sick, even though I can be a grumpy bugger. She feeds me and dresses me when I just can’t decide what to wear. She listens to me rant and rave. She makes me laugh, and she surprises me. Addison is truly my other half, and I don’t know what I’d do without her. The work that I do, the battles that I fight for equality, I’m fighting them for her and for the family we hope to have someday.

-Jess

You’re going to think we’re crazy. And we won’t disagree.

You’re going to think we’re really dumb. And we won’t blame you.

You’re going to think we’re seriously the two most confused and most confusing people you’ve ever known. And we’ll admit we probably are.

We’re moving. Again.

I know what you’re thinking. Didn’t you guys just move to Asheville? And didn’t you just come back to Columbia after moving to Asheville and tell us all that you’re sticking around?

Yes. Yes, we did.

But, yes, we’re moving again.

Do you think we’re nuts? So do we.

But we’re moving anyway. And this time we’re going big.

We’re moving to Denver, Colorado.

Take a moment. Let the news sink in. Shake your head, scream if you want. Wonder why we’re freaking crazy people. Ask yourself why you decided to be a family member / friend / colleague / acquaintance of two absolutely idiotic lesbians like us. Consider if it’s worth all this stress and aggravation. It probably isn’t.

Now, let me explain as best as I can. Addison and I were not looking to leave. Back when we moved to Asheville, we wanted to move. In fact, we wanted to move to Asheville. We liked the mountains and the community, and we thought we’d like living there so I looked for a job there. We wanted to move; we found a way to do it; we did it; nothing worked out; we came home.

Today’s story is a little different. The wife and I weren’t really looking to move; I mean, we hadn’t committed to living in Columbia for forever and ever, but we had just returned from Asheville and were ready to take things easy, at least for a little while. Addison was loving life as a teller at Wachovia; I was working for myself as a freelance consultant, and I had both a long-term contract and several short-term projects. Things were good.

But then they got great. I was offered a job as Online Communications Manager at One Colorado in Denver.

This opportunity came a bit out of the blue; I was talking with the organization about a short-term freelance contract, and then things moved to the next level. And, my friends, let me tell you, this is my dream job. One Colorado is Colorado’s gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender (GLBT) equal rights organization; they work day in and day out to advance equality for GLBT individuals and couples in the state. And now I’m a part of the team.

If you’re an avid reader of this blog, you probably remember that I have interviewed with a GLBT organization before. That opportunity didn’t go my way. But this one did. Finally. After almost two years of wishing, wanting, and hoping, I have landed a job at a GLBT organization. I am now a career activist. My work will make a difference.

I am so incredibly excited.

I’m also really terrified. We’re moving far away from the city we know. We’re moving far away from our family and friends. We’re moving again…so soon after the epic fail that was “the Asheville plan.”

But we can’t let fear control our dreams. Working at a GLBT organization is my dream, and if I don’t go for it, I’ll regret it forever. No matter how scared we are about missing all that we’re leaving behind, we must move forward.

So we’re plowing ahead into a world of not-yet-figured-out details. All we know is that I will have a job and that we will be living in Denver. The rest remains to be figured out. Where will Addison work—can she just transfer to another branch within Wachovia / Wells Fargo, or will she have to launch another job search? What will we do with our house in Columbia? What kind of apartment will we get in Denver? Do we need two cars or one in a city like Denver? How do we sell all the furniture that we really don’t need?

Big questions, big stress, big excitement.

Everyone we talk to seems to express a mixture of sadness and excitement. They’re sad we’re leaving but happy for us and our new adventure. And the one thing everyone seems to say: “You’re really going to love Denver.”

We think so. We hope so.

Stay tuned to this blog as we work out the details of our move, pack our shit and haul it across the country, and start a new life in the wild, wild west.

-Jess

Remember a few months ago when we announced The Asheville Plan? It was well thought out and strategically decided upon. It was foolproof and sure to work out perfectly. Right?

Wrong.

I am the queen of bad decisions, and like all the others before it, this one–the Asheville plan–was a wrong decision. We said “Asheville or bust,” and bust we did indeed.

It was a number of things really. A number of circumstances that compounded to destroy what we thought was a totally smart plan.

First, finding a job in Asheville is difficult, even when you’re as smart and cute as Addison. We had no connections in Asheville–no resources from which to draw. And Asheville’s a small mountain town, not a bustling city full of opportunity. It’s tough to find a job all over the country, but it’s especially tough in small towns that can’t support the existing population, much less newcomers to the area.

Second, selling a house is even more difficult than finding a job, as many of you know. Of course, we knew it too. We knew that our house would be a tough sell, but as soon as we moved out of it (me first, followed by Addison), it got even tougher than expected. Houses all around us came on the market, increasing competition. We got bad news from our real estate agent, followed by bad news from the IRS. In short, our house wasn’t going anywhere fast. And as long as we had our house in Columbia to pay for, we couldn’t afford to pay to live in Asheville.

Third, the core of the Asheville plan, when we formulated it, was that we’d be able to live for practically nothing since we were moving into Addison’s mother’s house. This living arrangement would allow us the time to sell our Columbia house and get on our feet financially in a new place. Unfortunately, this living situation didn’t work. I won’t bore you with the long, gory story, but we lost our free place to stay. This was the biggest wrinkle in our plan. If the other factors were headaches, this was like brain surgery. It took us out.

Fortunately, after all of this happened, things became clear pretty quickly, thanks to some sage advice from my mom and dad and Addison’s dad and stepmom. They all suggested that we return to Columbia–to our house and to a place where we have connections that would help both Addison and me find jobs. Once we heard the advice, we were sold. It didn’t just make financial sense and practical sense, it made emotional sense, too.

Almost as soon as Addison and I left, we missed Columbia. Because it’s home. We certainly didn’t realize it, but it is. While we were looking outward, trying to figure out where we wanted to move to and settle, Columbia snuck up behind us and became home. As soon as we left it, we felt like we had lost something. And we had. We lost being close to my sister, my brother-in-law, and our nephews. We lost our friends. We lost our house (though it isn’t perfect or in the greatest neighborhood, we love it). We lost our sense of belonging. It was an awful lot to lose.

So we have returned. We are now back in Columbia for good.

Of course, I no longer have a job. But that’s okay. My job in Asheville was fine, but it wasn’t a dream come true or anything. It was solid and nice, and I could have done it well. But all the signs were pointing us home. So we followed them, and I think we’re going to be happier than we ever imagined we could be.

-Jess

It’s been a week since I made our big moving announcement—and a week since I promised to give you more details on what we affectionately call “the asheville plan.” Sorry for the delay in sharing the specifics; we’ve been swamped with moving stuff.

But good news, fair readers, your wait is finally over. I’m here to air out all our dirty laundry…or just to tell you about our plan…the asheville plan.

My Job
I will be taking a job at Synergy Point, a web development company located in the Biltmore Village part of town (South Asheville area). My title is Vice President, and my responsibilities will be in the areas of branding, marketing strategy, and social media. Basically, my coming takes the firm from a simple web development group to a full-fledged online marketing company. I’ll spend most of my time working with clients who want to market their website strategically—in addition to helping the President “run” the company.

The most exciting part of this job is that I’ll be in an executive-level position that will allow me the opportunity to actually run the business. I am thrilled about working hand-in-hand with the President to lead the company and move it forward. For the past year, I’ve really been interested in business strategy, operations, and the like so this move is a great opportunity to really get into the business of running a small business.

I’m very excited about my first six months at Synergy Point because there are a number of important tasks to be completed. Specifically, I’ll likely be leading the company through a re-branding process, and I hope we’ll be redoing or renovating all of their marketing materials (new website, new logo, new stationery, etc.). Then I’ll work on expanding / growing / improving their services, specifically in the areas of interactive branding, marketing strategy, and social media.

Addison’s Job
Addison’s plan is a little bit more up in the air than mine. She is really hoping to get into nursing school as soon as possible. It’s something she’s been talking about and thinking about for a long time, and now that we’re moving, she’s finally ready to take the plunge and go for it. I’m super proud of her.

Addison has found a school she likes, and they are on a quarter calendar (not semester) so they have openings in the coming months. As soon as they receive her transcript, she’ll know more about when she’ll start and how long it will take her to complete the program.

If it will be a while before she can start school, Addison will hit the pavement in search of a job in Asheville. She isn’t planning on leaving her current job until she has a new one lined up or until she starts school. So, for at least a little while, we’ll be separated. She’ll be living in Columbia; I’ll be living in Asheville. I’m not at all excited about this, but we’re trying to make smart decisions. Financially, it’s best if we’re both working.

I really hope that Addison can get into school quickly and get her program done. I’m sure she’ll post here as soon as she has more information about what exactly she’ll be doing.

Living Situation
This week, I will be moving some of my things in Addison’s mom’s vacant house. She had been renting the house out, but the renters moved so now the place is all mine. I’m not bringing much up because the house has a lot of furniture that I can use. When Addison moves up, she’ll go ahead and bring everything else. Then we’ll begin the process of decorating and doing some cosmetic renovations to her mom’s house. We’ve committed to help her with projects like painting so we’ll be spending our weekends working, and you’ll likely hear about it here.

Addison’s mom is currently living in Manhattan and won’t be moving back south until May. So we’re committed to living in her beautiful, big, historic house at least until then. Depending on how things shake out, we may even stay there longer, to save money and such. We’re extremely grateful that Anne (Addison’s mom) has agreed to let us live in her home; I’m not sure we could be chasing “the asheville plan” without her.

So that’s it. That’s the Asheville Plan. I move and start my job. Addison follows as soon as she can. We live in an amazing house with a winter view of the mountains. I can’t wait. There are definitely things I’ll miss about Columbia (I feel another blog entry coming on), but I’m so excited about Asheville. And I’m so excited about this adventure with Addison. Moving is the biggest decision we’ve made together as a married couple. And it was a hard one to make. I had other job opportunities to consider; Addison had school to consider; we both had to consider location and cost and lifestyle. It took us a while to get to this point, but we’re here. And we’re so excited about taking this step together. We’ve moving to a community we love, to opportunities that are promising, to a future that’s bright.

-Jess

You may have noticed that, prior to my recent post about parking in the power space, all was pretty quiet on the blog front. Our silence is a result of two reasons:

1. I’ve been working a lot on the look of the blog, which you may have noticed keeps changing on you. Messing with the way the blog looks and functions takes awhile, thus depleting me of any time I might spend actually blogging. Unfortunately, I still don’t think I’m happy with the set-up of the blog so expect more changes.

2. The biggest reason why we haven’t been blogging is that we have a secret. Our lives have been pretty much consumed with some big changes that are happening very soon, but we haven’t really been able to talk about anything. Until now…

Attention: here comes a big announcement. Stop shoving that Big Mac down your throat, turn off Cher’s “I believe in life after love,” and pay attention. This is B-I-G.

Addison and I are moving.

Okay, maybe the news isn’t that big. People move all the time. Everyday, in fact. But the news feels big to us, and I’m so glad we can finally share it.

If you’re a regular reader of this blog, you’re probably not shocked about the move because you know that we’ve been really thinking about where the hell we want to live and keeping our eyes open for opportunities. We’ve looked far (Boston, DC, California, etc.) and near (right here in good old Cola) for the perfect situation—one that provides us with professional fulfillment and a whole lot of quality of life. And about half way through the process, we realized that there is no perfect. There is “pretty awesome, not bad, okay, sucky, and totally shitty”—but no “perfect.” So we’re shooting for a “pretty awesome” in…

…drum roll please…

ASHEVILLE, NORTH CAROLINA.

Yes, gentle readers, Addison and I will be moving to Asheville and embarking on the next phase of our journey together. I start a brand spanking new job on Monday, February 1, and Addison will likely be joining me around February 15 after she gets some of her ducks in a row. Yay!

We’re both pretty damn excited about this plan. We’ve talked about and considered Asheville for quite some time now, probably over a year. It’s a beautiful place surrounded by gorgeous mountains; it’s close to our families; it isn’t a terribly expensive place to live; it offers an array of cultural and recreational opportunities; and it has a thriving, active lesbian population.

I’ll admit that there were times that we took Asheville off our list of potential places to live because we were seduced by the bigger cities like Atlanta, San Francisco, Boston, and Washington, DC. But it clawed its way back on the list because of family. Asheville isn’t a big city, but it’s a beautiful, small city that’s close to all the people we love. It isn’t the gay mecca we thought we’d be heading to, but it’s a great place, and it deserves a shot. We couldn’t justify moving far away to some big, bustling, fast-paced city (which I’ve done before and returned from) before we tried to find “home” close to family.

I want to tell you about my new job and about Addison’s plans, but I’m going to make you wait until next week. But don’t worry, next week I promise I’ll blog all about my new job and how I feel about leaving ADCO, and I’ll ask my lovely wife to spend some time telling you her new adventure.

Until then, just marinate on the fact that we’re moving. We’re leaving Columbia behind and heading to the mountains, hopefully to find a great community and fewer people who stare at me. Yippee!

-Jess