Addison & Jace ::: en route

It’s been ten months since Addison and I packed up our stuff and our lives in South Carolina and headed west to Colorado. We didn’t know what we’d find when we got here; we were traveling on hopes and dreams. 

What we discovered in the wild west was far more than we expected. In just a few short months, we have fallen in love with Colorado. For so many reasons (listed below for your enjoyment, gentle readers), we have truly come to call Colorado and Denver our new home.

1. Colorado is a beautiful state. You’ve seen me talking about this again and again on the blog as I explore the corners of the most beautiful state in the country. From the majestic, snow-capped Rocky Mountains to Denver’s stellar skyline, Colorado takes my breath away. It really is a wonderful feeling to look around and see beauty all around you.

2. My job is awesome. We moved across the country so that I could take my job as Communications Manager at One Colorado. It was a big risk, but it’s paid off tremendously. I love my work. I love politics and advocacy. I love thinking about the right messaging and building relationships with the media. I love spending my days working for equality for families that look like mine.

3. Addison’s job kicks ass. I always knew my wonderful wife would be a success, but moving to Colorado has catapulted her career forward in a way we never expected. She got a promotion and a pay increase from the job she left in South Carolina, and she’s really kicking ass at her new job. She’s already been given leadership and growth opportunities as well as increased responsibilities. She’ll be running the place in no time!

4. We have amazing friends. Within just a few months, Addison and I have connected with really fabulous, wonderful people. We’re so lucky to have folks in our lives who accept and love us for who we are. From playing cards to going to sporting events to camping (which we’re doing for the first time in September) to drinking infused vodka, we enjoy every minute we spend with our friends.

5. Denver is friendly to LGBT folks. I may be speaking from the sheltered bubble in which I live (living in the gayborhood and working at a LGBT organization), but I have found Denver to be accepting of Addison and me. We feel safe and comfortable walking down the street hand-in-hand and being ourselves in our community. In South Carolina, I used to be stared at all the time for rejecting gender norms, but I don’t turn heads in Denver, a city that attracts lesbians who look like me as well as a slew of straight women who don’t follow gender stereotypes either. It may sound like a small thing, but it feels right to live in a community where you feel accepted and embraced for who you are, whether you follow the rules or not.

6. Denver is a place where I can see us starting a family. Colorado has a second parent adoption law, which will give us the protections we need to bring little ones into the world. More importantly, the lives we are building here are positive and stable and full of love—the perfect setting in which to bring children and to show them the beauty of the world and teach them how to love and accept others. The only thing that would make Denver a better place to start a family is if my parents were here. But I do have to admit that there is a part of me that hopes I can convince them to relocate out west once we start our family. I suppose we’ll just have to see… ;)

Addison and I aren’t willing to make any long-term plans right now—we’ve made too many that haven’t come to fruition—but for now, we’re absolutely loving life in Denver, Colorado, and we’re proud to call it our home.

So Jess and I have moved.  Again.  I know, it’s shocking.  If you’re interested in our defense you can read Jess’ previous post here.  I’m not here to defend, I’m just here to give you an update on how things are in our new place so far.  

We moved in on Thursday (a week ago yesterday).  Naturally we’re almost done decorating, and we’ve been unpacked since Sunday.  We just have a little more art to hang and some plants to get in planters on the balcony.  As much as we dislike moving, we’ve got it down to a science, so the process is usually pretty quick with us.  

The new place really is great!  We have three times the closet space, a storage unit in the basement, the balcony is 25 feet long, the kitchen has granite counter tops, the floors are wood, and the bedroom is bigger.  There is an amazing view of downtown from the Penthouse suite on the 9th floor, and we have a covered, off-street parking space.  The only thing I have to complain about is the bathroom.  It’s tiny.  I mean, it’s average for a bathroom, but we’re used to two sinks and a garden tub, so we feel like it’s tiny.  All in all, if the bathroom is the only thing we have to complain about, I think we’re doing good!  

Our neighbors are much better.  Literally everyone we see stops what they’re doing to introduce themselves.  We’re renting directly from a condo owner, so most of the people who live here own their units, and naturally they want to know their neighbors.  I think they’re planning on having a welcome party.  And I’m sure you’ve seen the sign in the elevator by now.  Seriously, they’re very sweet neighbors.  

And we love love love the neighborhood!  Cheeseman Park is gorgeous.  We’ve walked to Dazbog (our favorite, local coffee place) at least 4 times.  We’re within walking distance to a lot of our friends, not to mention yummy restaurants and bars that I’m just itching to try.  We’re just really glad to finally be in Capitol Hill.  It’s the “gayborhood” of Denver, and we’re excited to experience it.  

After we get fully decorated we’ll have a house warming party, and we’ll post some more pictures of the finished place.  Stay tuned!  

~Addison

I suppose it’s time for Addison and I to come clean. We’re Addison & Jess, and we’re move-aholics.

Whew. That feels better. The truth is out there.

But not really. Because the truth is, we don’t like to move. We just seem to do it a lot, and we’re doing it again in a little less than two weeks. I know what you’re thinking: “Again?”

Yes. Again. This time, we’re moving a little more than one mile away, to a new apartment in Denver.

Why are we moving? Here’s the run-down of reasons:

1. We’ll save a lot of money every month without giving anything up and gaining a lot—same apartment size and many of the same amenities for a lot less money. (Honestly, we probably would have moved for this reason alone, given that we’re a debt-ladden couple who no longer wants to live paycheck-to-paycheck. But there are other reasons / perks of moving too.)

2. We’ll live close to my work—a four-block walk. Living this close to work, we have decided to not bring Addison’s car (which has been living at my parents’ house in South Carolina) out to Denver as we had planned to do in November. Instead, we’re going to sell the car and apply the money to some of our debt. I’ll continue to use a combination of walking and bus riding to get where I need to go.

3. We’ll live in a better / prettier neighborhood that’s close to a park and full of gorgeous old houses to look at while we’re walking Izzie. 

4. We’ll live in the “gayborhood” where many of our friends live.

5. We’ll be able to walk to coffee shops, grocery stores, restaurants, the place where I get my hair cut, and more.

6. We’ll escape all of the fraternity boys and sorority girls living in our current apartment complex.

7. We’ll have hardwood floors and tile instead of carpet and vinyl.

8. We’ll have a huge balcony, a much better kitchen, and tons more storage space.

9. We’ll leave behind the noise and aggravation of an apartment complex with more than 450 units. (Call me an old lady, but I like peace and quiet when I get home.)

10. We’ll live in a place we feel good about because we’re paying a good price for great space and amenities (as opposed to always feeling like we were paying through the nose for a place we only kind of liked).

Of course, I’ll be the first to admit that there are drawbacks to moving, specifically:

1. We actually have to pack and move. No fun.

2. We have to pay a fee to break our lease in our current place. An expected bummer. Still, with all we’ll save every month, we’ll make our money back in no time.

3. Did I mention we have to pack up our stuff and move?

4. We’re moving away from City Park, a park we so love. Fortunately, we’re moving one block away from a different park, Cheeseman Park. I hope we’ll like it as much as we like City Park. One perk we already know of: there are no geese (and therefore, no geese poop) in Cheeseman.

5. We’re giving up a swimming pool and gym in our current place. But, not surprisingly, we’ve used the pool twice and the gym once in 9 months so it’s not a big loss.

6. The one big concession we had to make: we won’t have a washer and dryer in our unit so we’ll have to go down to the laundry room in the building to do laundry. It’s a bummer to be sure, but I’m hoping it will make us a little better about laundry (i.e., not letting it build up and getting it all done at once instead of dragging it out for days).

7. Moving. Really. Sucks.

8. Seriously.

Because of these drawbacks, we didn’t make this decision to move lightly. Most of the annoying things about our building, we could have gotten over and dealt with. Most of the awesome things about our new place, we could live without. But our decision came down not to which apartment was better; it came down to money. 

Addison and I have made the decision to spend the next couple of years really paying down debt and trying to save some money so that we can be better prepared for the future. If we ever want to stop worrying about money every month, if we ever want to start a family, if we ever want to be able to take care of the ones we love as they age—we have to get our finances in order. And our plan starts now, with this move.

As you know, Jess and I are moving to Denver.  Like real soon.  This coming Saturday soon.  Crazy, right?  So I’m sure you can imagine / appreciate how absolutely insane our life has been lately.  We’re trying to squeeze a million things into two weeks of time, all while maintaining jobs and various other responsibilities.  Jess is still doing freelance work, my last day at Wachovia was Friday, SC Pride was yesterday, and we’ve been packing and sorting all of our belongings into move, sell and store piles.  We’ve also been doing all kinds of last minute moving things.  Like haircuts, car maintenance, dog grooming appointments, all of the kind of things you want taken care of before you end up in a strange place.

So, we’re taking a break.  It’s not technically a break.  We flew to Denver this morning, and we hit the ground running.  We rented a car and have been driving around the city familiarizing ourselves with our new home, and the numerous neighborhoods she has to offer!  We only managed to see 3 apartments today, but we’ve really been enjoying our time in Denver so far.  We have 3 more apartments to tour tomorrow, and we’re hoping to get a few more on the books.  So far we’re really digging the Capitol Hill / Cheeseman Park neighborhoods.  Uptown is wonderful, but we can get more space for our money if we go a little further out.

Our plan is to choose one of these apartments while we’re here in Denver.  We’d love to have a home here before flying back to Columbia to finish packing and moving.  I know that it would ease our minds tremendously to have a place for all of our stuff to be delivered to.

I know that apartment hunting doesn’t sound like much of a break, but we don’t have to work.  We don’t have to wake up early or stay up late.  We’re treating this trip as a much-deserved mini vacation, and I plan on soaking up every wonderful moment of it, because as soon as we get back to Columbia all hell’s going to break loose again.

We’re arriving home around midnight on Wednesday.  Thursday morning we’re driving to Easley to have family time with the Cook’s and Stanley’s, because Caleb is going to be formally adopted.  (Sidenote: YAY!!!)  After the adoption, we’re heading back to Columbia to be there when our truck gets dropped off.  Dad and MA are coming up for dinner Thursday night.  Friday morning the movers are going to arrive to pack all of our stuff, and then we’re packing up the Explorer for the long drive.  Saturday morning, we’re hitting the road with Izzie, and we’re hoping to arrive back in Colorado Sunday or Monday.  Crazy, right?

Jess and I are thrilled to be moving to such a wonderful city, but we are very sad about leaving our friends and family behind in SC.  Maybe we’ll find a 2 bedroom place so everyone can come visit!  (Hint, hint!)

-Addison

I’ve been working and packing for most of the day today, and I’ve had Friends on in the background. It’s one of my all-time favorite shows, and it’s often watched in my household. It provides a reassuring kind of background noise.

I suppose, though, that now is not a good time to watch season 10. Season 10 always makes me sad because season 10 is the end. The end of an era, as Monica says when she and Rachel stop living together.

At the end of season 10, Monica and Chandler move out of the city and into the suburbs, away from their friends. Not far. But still away. And it’s sad. We no longer get to be with these characters, and although the last episode tries to leave you with a sense that things will stay the same between the six, you know it won’t. Things change. People change. Life changes. It’s a sad reality.

That’s where I am today–in a sad reality. I am so excited about my new job. I am so excited about Denver. I am so excited about this adventure with my incredible wife.

But I’m also really sad. I am leaving my family. In fact, yesterday I told my mother goodbye. She’s traveling to New York next week to spend some time with her mother so she was my first goodbye. I can’t tell you how hard it is to think about my mother being so far away from me. I love her so much. She and my dad still take care of me way too much. I suppose I need to grow up, and moving to Denver will make me. But, god, will I miss my mom. And my dad too. They’re amazing people. And I’m leaving them in South Carolina while I head to the wild wild west.

It isn’t just my parents, either. It’s my sister, my brother-in-law, and my nephews. I can’t believe they won’t be 30 minutes away. I can’t believe I won’t babysit for the boys or have dinner with Allyson and Matt. Having them so close has been a treasure, and it’s one I’m losing.

Saturday is South Carolina Pride, and Addison and I will attend the march together. We will join with our friends and walk the streets of Columbia as proud lesbians. Although I know we’ll meet new people and make new friends in Denver, it’s so hard to think about leaving the ones we have. In the past year, we’ve grown so close to so many people, and it is those people that make Columbia what it is. I’m thinking of Rachel saying goodbye to everyone on Friends when she was planning to move to Paris. Addison and I will be saying goodbye. But we won’t be turning back like Rachel. We’ll be moving forward, even though we know it is going to be so difficult.

On Saturday, we will be walking with SC Equality, and this will be my last official act as a Board member. I am so thankful for SC Equality and the effect it has had on my life. Without it, I wouldn’t have realized that my true calling is to work in the GLBT movement. Without it, I wouldn’t have met some of my best friends. Without it, I wouldn’t be who I am. It shaped me, and I hope, in some way, I shaped it, too.

I promise that I’m excited. That it isn’t all sadness. But the last episode of Friendsjust finished, and I’m wallowing after watching it, as I always do. I’ll rebound, and I’ll find my excitement and my energy again. I’ll remind myself of what Addison and I are gaining.

But for a moment, I just want to be sad. Sad for all we are leaving.

And I am.

-Jess

You’re going to think we’re crazy. And we won’t disagree.

You’re going to think we’re really dumb. And we won’t blame you.

You’re going to think we’re seriously the two most confused and most confusing people you’ve ever known. And we’ll admit we probably are.

We’re moving. Again.

I know what you’re thinking. Didn’t you guys just move to Asheville? And didn’t you just come back to Columbia after moving to Asheville and tell us all that you’re sticking around?

Yes. Yes, we did.

But, yes, we’re moving again.

Do you think we’re nuts? So do we.

But we’re moving anyway. And this time we’re going big.

We’re moving to Denver, Colorado.

Take a moment. Let the news sink in. Shake your head, scream if you want. Wonder why we’re freaking crazy people. Ask yourself why you decided to be a family member / friend / colleague / acquaintance of two absolutely idiotic lesbians like us. Consider if it’s worth all this stress and aggravation. It probably isn’t.

Now, let me explain as best as I can. Addison and I were not looking to leave. Back when we moved to Asheville, we wanted to move. In fact, we wanted to move to Asheville. We liked the mountains and the community, and we thought we’d like living there so I looked for a job there. We wanted to move; we found a way to do it; we did it; nothing worked out; we came home.

Today’s story is a little different. The wife and I weren’t really looking to move; I mean, we hadn’t committed to living in Columbia for forever and ever, but we had just returned from Asheville and were ready to take things easy, at least for a little while. Addison was loving life as a teller at Wachovia; I was working for myself as a freelance consultant, and I had both a long-term contract and several short-term projects. Things were good.

But then they got great. I was offered a job as Online Communications Manager at One Colorado in Denver.

This opportunity came a bit out of the blue; I was talking with the organization about a short-term freelance contract, and then things moved to the next level. And, my friends, let me tell you, this is my dream job. One Colorado is Colorado’s gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender (GLBT) equal rights organization; they work day in and day out to advance equality for GLBT individuals and couples in the state. And now I’m a part of the team.

If you’re an avid reader of this blog, you probably remember that I have interviewed with a GLBT organization before. That opportunity didn’t go my way. But this one did. Finally. After almost two years of wishing, wanting, and hoping, I have landed a job at a GLBT organization. I am now a career activist. My work will make a difference.

I am so incredibly excited.

I’m also really terrified. We’re moving far away from the city we know. We’re moving far away from our family and friends. We’re moving again…so soon after the epic fail that was “the Asheville plan.”

But we can’t let fear control our dreams. Working at a GLBT organization is my dream, and if I don’t go for it, I’ll regret it forever. No matter how scared we are about missing all that we’re leaving behind, we must move forward.

So we’re plowing ahead into a world of not-yet-figured-out details. All we know is that I will have a job and that we will be living in Denver. The rest remains to be figured out. Where will Addison work—can she just transfer to another branch within Wachovia / Wells Fargo, or will she have to launch another job search? What will we do with our house in Columbia? What kind of apartment will we get in Denver? Do we need two cars or one in a city like Denver? How do we sell all the furniture that we really don’t need?

Big questions, big stress, big excitement.

Everyone we talk to seems to express a mixture of sadness and excitement. They’re sad we’re leaving but happy for us and our new adventure. And the one thing everyone seems to say: “You’re really going to love Denver.”

We think so. We hope so.

Stay tuned to this blog as we work out the details of our move, pack our shit and haul it across the country, and start a new life in the wild, wild west.

-Jess