Addison & Jace ::: en route

I suppose it’s time for Addison and I to come clean. We’re Addison & Jess, and we’re move-aholics.

Whew. That feels better. The truth is out there.

But not really. Because the truth is, we don’t like to move. We just seem to do it a lot, and we’re doing it again in a little less than two weeks. I know what you’re thinking: “Again?”

Yes. Again. This time, we’re moving a little more than one mile away, to a new apartment in Denver.

Why are we moving? Here’s the run-down of reasons:

1. We’ll save a lot of money every month without giving anything up and gaining a lot—same apartment size and many of the same amenities for a lot less money. (Honestly, we probably would have moved for this reason alone, given that we’re a debt-ladden couple who no longer wants to live paycheck-to-paycheck. But there are other reasons / perks of moving too.)

2. We’ll live close to my work—a four-block walk. Living this close to work, we have decided to not bring Addison’s car (which has been living at my parents’ house in South Carolina) out to Denver as we had planned to do in November. Instead, we’re going to sell the car and apply the money to some of our debt. I’ll continue to use a combination of walking and bus riding to get where I need to go.

3. We’ll live in a better / prettier neighborhood that’s close to a park and full of gorgeous old houses to look at while we’re walking Izzie. 

4. We’ll live in the “gayborhood” where many of our friends live.

5. We’ll be able to walk to coffee shops, grocery stores, restaurants, the place where I get my hair cut, and more.

6. We’ll escape all of the fraternity boys and sorority girls living in our current apartment complex.

7. We’ll have hardwood floors and tile instead of carpet and vinyl.

8. We’ll have a huge balcony, a much better kitchen, and tons more storage space.

9. We’ll leave behind the noise and aggravation of an apartment complex with more than 450 units. (Call me an old lady, but I like peace and quiet when I get home.)

10. We’ll live in a place we feel good about because we’re paying a good price for great space and amenities (as opposed to always feeling like we were paying through the nose for a place we only kind of liked).

Of course, I’ll be the first to admit that there are drawbacks to moving, specifically:

1. We actually have to pack and move. No fun.

2. We have to pay a fee to break our lease in our current place. An expected bummer. Still, with all we’ll save every month, we’ll make our money back in no time.

3. Did I mention we have to pack up our stuff and move?

4. We’re moving away from City Park, a park we so love. Fortunately, we’re moving one block away from a different park, Cheeseman Park. I hope we’ll like it as much as we like City Park. One perk we already know of: there are no geese (and therefore, no geese poop) in Cheeseman.

5. We’re giving up a swimming pool and gym in our current place. But, not surprisingly, we’ve used the pool twice and the gym once in 9 months so it’s not a big loss.

6. The one big concession we had to make: we won’t have a washer and dryer in our unit so we’ll have to go down to the laundry room in the building to do laundry. It’s a bummer to be sure, but I’m hoping it will make us a little better about laundry (i.e., not letting it build up and getting it all done at once instead of dragging it out for days).

7. Moving. Really. Sucks.

8. Seriously.

Because of these drawbacks, we didn’t make this decision to move lightly. Most of the annoying things about our building, we could have gotten over and dealt with. Most of the awesome things about our new place, we could live without. But our decision came down not to which apartment was better; it came down to money. 

Addison and I have made the decision to spend the next couple of years really paying down debt and trying to save some money so that we can be better prepared for the future. If we ever want to stop worrying about money every month, if we ever want to start a family, if we ever want to be able to take care of the ones we love as they age—we have to get our finances in order. And our plan starts now, with this move.

At the Capitol for the House Education Committee hearing. Live tweeting testimony around HB 1254, an anti-bullying bill.

Today, 150 Coloradans joined me in the Old Supreme Court Chambers at the Colorado State Capitol. We were all there for the same reason—to participate in the Senate Judiciary Committee hearing where SB-172, the Colorado Civil Union Act, was being heard.

SB-172 provides critical legal protections to committed gay and lesbian couples in Colorado. Protections like the ability to visit a partner in the hospital, to make medical and end-of-life decisions for a partner, and to inherit a partner’s property. Responsibilities like the right to adopt a partner’s child, to insure a partner, and to take family leave to care for a partner. Protections and responsibilities that straight married couples take for granted and that many of my family and friends assume that Addison and I already have. My friends are shocked when I tell them that if I were in an accident, my parents, not Addison, would be called to make medical decisions for me. In fact, there is no guarantee that Addison could even be by my bedside. Civil unions in Colorado would change that. 

Today was my first Colorado committee hearing, and it was a big one. Nine committee members — 6 women, 3 men (I believe Colorado has more women legislators than any other state, or close to it) — sat behind what used to be the Supreme Court bench. From left to right, Senator Scheffel, Senator King, Senator Nicholson, Senator Newell, Senator Carroll (the chairwoman), Senator Guzman, Senator Roberts, Senator Giron, and Senator Lundberg. They all sat before me looking powerful and poised. 

Testimony began with Senator Steadman, the bill’s sponsor, who introduced the bill. He was asked several questions from Senator Lundberg who made it clear from the get-go that he was against the bill because he believed civil unions to be an affront to marriage. Of course, Senator Steadman was well-spoken and brilliant. It’s an honor to have him (and three other openly LGBT legislators) representing not just the people of his district but the LGBT community in Colorado.

Bill supporters were allowed to testify first, and we took two full hours to make our case. We heard from organizations supporting the bill and everyday, real people. Committed couples whose lives would be impacted in a tremendous way if civil unions passes. Parents with gay children and grandchildren. Faith leaders who believe that family is best defined by love and commitment, not the gender of two loving people. I felt amazingly uplifted as person after person stood up and voiced their support. There were speakers who brought tears to my eyes and to the eyes of the poised, powerful committee members before me.

But my day at the Capitol wasn’t all good. As our political process allows, people opposed to the bill were allowed to speak as well. One by one, I heard my fellow Coloradans say horrible things about me. I heard them call my love for Addison unnatural. I heard them quote the Bible, using it as a weapon to deny me the opportunity to be at Addison’s bedside in the hospital, to make medical decisions for her, to be responsible for her. I listened as they called me immoral and wrong for loving someone as wonderful as Addison. I listened as they claimed that Addison and I shouldn’t be allowed to raise children.

It was heartbreaking. The room filled with hate — a sharp change from the beginning of the hearing, which was overwhelming with proclamations of love and commitment. 

I kept thinking that the people who were calling my committed, loving relationship unnatural, wrong, and unfit to raise children could be changed. I kept thinking that, if they just got to know Addison and me, they’d change their minds. If they saw how much we love and care for each other, if they knew our hopes, dreams, and plans for the future, they’d change. 

But I don’t think they would. 

And that’s what’s so devastating. That no matter what, these people will always be spewing their hate. 

Fortunately, my day didn’t end on this sad note. After opposition testimony, members of the committee spoke, and their words were uplifting, rejuvenating, and inspiring. Even though you know all the things that the opposition says aren’t true, they still hurt. They tear you apart. But Senators Newell, Nicholson, Guzman, Roberts, Giron, and Carroll put us all back together. I am so thankful for their commitment to ending discrimination and ushering in a more equal Colorado. 

An equal Colorado where Addison and I are treated with the same fairness and respect as all committed couples.

-Jess

It’s extremely difficult to hear people stand up in opposition to civil unions, claiming that families like mine are unnatural, wrong, and bad for children. I want to believe that if they knew Addison and me or any of the wonderful couples who stood up in support today, they would change their minds. But I’m not sure they would.

Today’s amazingly compelling civil unions testimonies are bringing tears to my eyes — as well as the eyes of many of the committee members. To see them so moved makes me appreciate their difficult work more than I ever have.