Addison & Jace ::: en route

Today, 150 Coloradans joined me in the Old Supreme Court Chambers at the Colorado State Capitol. We were all there for the same reason—to participate in the Senate Judiciary Committee hearing where SB-172, the Colorado Civil Union Act, was being heard.

SB-172 provides critical legal protections to committed gay and lesbian couples in Colorado. Protections like the ability to visit a partner in the hospital, to make medical and end-of-life decisions for a partner, and to inherit a partner’s property. Responsibilities like the right to adopt a partner’s child, to insure a partner, and to take family leave to care for a partner. Protections and responsibilities that straight married couples take for granted and that many of my family and friends assume that Addison and I already have. My friends are shocked when I tell them that if I were in an accident, my parents, not Addison, would be called to make medical decisions for me. In fact, there is no guarantee that Addison could even be by my bedside. Civil unions in Colorado would change that. 

Today was my first Colorado committee hearing, and it was a big one. Nine committee members — 6 women, 3 men (I believe Colorado has more women legislators than any other state, or close to it) — sat behind what used to be the Supreme Court bench. From left to right, Senator Scheffel, Senator King, Senator Nicholson, Senator Newell, Senator Carroll (the chairwoman), Senator Guzman, Senator Roberts, Senator Giron, and Senator Lundberg. They all sat before me looking powerful and poised. 

Testimony began with Senator Steadman, the bill’s sponsor, who introduced the bill. He was asked several questions from Senator Lundberg who made it clear from the get-go that he was against the bill because he believed civil unions to be an affront to marriage. Of course, Senator Steadman was well-spoken and brilliant. It’s an honor to have him (and three other openly LGBT legislators) representing not just the people of his district but the LGBT community in Colorado.

Bill supporters were allowed to testify first, and we took two full hours to make our case. We heard from organizations supporting the bill and everyday, real people. Committed couples whose lives would be impacted in a tremendous way if civil unions passes. Parents with gay children and grandchildren. Faith leaders who believe that family is best defined by love and commitment, not the gender of two loving people. I felt amazingly uplifted as person after person stood up and voiced their support. There were speakers who brought tears to my eyes and to the eyes of the poised, powerful committee members before me.

But my day at the Capitol wasn’t all good. As our political process allows, people opposed to the bill were allowed to speak as well. One by one, I heard my fellow Coloradans say horrible things about me. I heard them call my love for Addison unnatural. I heard them quote the Bible, using it as a weapon to deny me the opportunity to be at Addison’s bedside in the hospital, to make medical decisions for her, to be responsible for her. I listened as they called me immoral and wrong for loving someone as wonderful as Addison. I listened as they claimed that Addison and I shouldn’t be allowed to raise children.

It was heartbreaking. The room filled with hate — a sharp change from the beginning of the hearing, which was overwhelming with proclamations of love and commitment. 

I kept thinking that the people who were calling my committed, loving relationship unnatural, wrong, and unfit to raise children could be changed. I kept thinking that, if they just got to know Addison and me, they’d change their minds. If they saw how much we love and care for each other, if they knew our hopes, dreams, and plans for the future, they’d change. 

But I don’t think they would. 

And that’s what’s so devastating. That no matter what, these people will always be spewing their hate. 

Fortunately, my day didn’t end on this sad note. After opposition testimony, members of the committee spoke, and their words were uplifting, rejuvenating, and inspiring. Even though you know all the things that the opposition says aren’t true, they still hurt. They tear you apart. But Senators Newell, Nicholson, Guzman, Roberts, Giron, and Carroll put us all back together. I am so thankful for their commitment to ending discrimination and ushering in a more equal Colorado. 

An equal Colorado where Addison and I are treated with the same fairness and respect as all committed couples.

-Jess

Today’s amazingly compelling civil unions testimonies are bringing tears to my eyes — as well as the eyes of many of the committee members. To see them so moved makes me appreciate their difficult work more than I ever have.