Addison & Jace ::: en route

1.) Our new Honda Civic!  After 16 months of living in Denver with only one car, Jess and I finally decided to bite the bullet and go for a second vehicle.  Jess’ mom hooked us up with a small loan at a great rate and we were able to get a great deal on a gently used 2002 Civic with less than 100,000 miles.  It only has 2 doors, but it’s super clean, and super cute!  Besides, we have the Subaru when we want to haul around lots of people, or stuff.  And it gets 10 MPG better than the Suby in city and on the highway, so I’m looking forward to getting tags on it, and getting my commute on!  

2.) Facebook.  This might sound like an odd one, but I really like being able to keep up with everyone back home, especially my family.  Jess and I are fortunate enough to talk with our immediate family pretty regularly, but FB has helped me stay on top of my extended family and friends.  (Congrats on the engagement, Blayde!)  I feel like I know some people better now that I can see what they do on a regular basis, and that’s pretty cool.  Plus it will give us something to talk about the next time I’m in town.  

3.) Friends.  When we moved to Colorado we knew it would be tough not having our wonderful friends around, and there are still some people in Columbia we miss dearly.  But in Denver we have managed to befriend some really wonderful people who have very different backgrounds from me and Jess.  Knowing these people has helped me think about things in a very new way, which has been wonderful for my personal growth.  Thank you, Denver friends!  You’re the best a girl could ask for!  : )

4.) Brunch!  Brunch has quickly and easily become my favorite meal here in Denver.  I didn’t really used to get down with this hybrid meal, and frankly I don’t really love breakfast, but brunch has become a staple of our weekend ritual.  On Sunday mornings, we call it “gay church,” because it’s usually our LGBT peeps that accompany us on this outing.  There’s one restaurant in particular that always seems to have friends there on Sunday mornings.  But there are so many good places to eat brunch here!  It almost seems that brunch is a bigger happening than a Friday or Saturday night dinner.  Actually, we’re trying a new brunch place with our friends, Shanna and LP, today!  

5.) My girls.  Jess and Izzie are the highlights of my day, everyday.  Jess is so smart, passionate, and damn good at her job.  She cares so much and works so hard.  And it’s important work.  Really, really important work.  She’s working so the future she and I imagine with such precise detail can become a reality.  She’s fighting for our relationship, our life, every day, and I’m so incredibly grateful for that.  And she loves me fiercely.  I know that she does, and for that I am even more grateful.  Izzie, too!  She gets so excited when we come home from work, and it’s nice to know that there are too “people” who love me no matter what.  I love my little family!  

It’s been ages since I’ve actually written a blog post. It’s because life in Colorado started off very fast and a bit out of control for me because I started work only two days after our arrival. Fortunately, my lovely wife has kept you informed about our travels and the beginnings of our life in the wild, wild west.

But here is my perspective in an easy numbered format.

1.  The trip out was long but exciting. I loved driving through states that I have never visited. Kentucky, Illinois, Missouri, Kansas. They were all beautiful in their own way, though, admittedly, some more so than others. It would have been awesome if we could have taken our time and actually spent time in some of the great cities we drove through, but we had to stay on schedule to make it to Colorado in time for my first day at work.

2.  Finally arriving in Denver was amazing. It was incredible leaving the Eastern Plain part of the Colorado to enter the Front Range region because the view changed from flat plains for as far as the eye can see to gorgeous mountains off in the distance. Just as an FYI, Colorado is broadly divided into three regions: the Eastern Plain (very rural area where farmers live), the Front Range (the area that contains the three biggest cities in CO: Denver, Ft. Collins, and Colorado Springs, all of which line the Rockies), and the Western Slope (rural, mountainous area that can be tough to get to from Denver in the winter because of all the snow).

3.  Getting settled into our Denver apartment wasn’t quite as smooth as I’d hoped. Our furniture and boxes didn’t arrive until a few days after we did so we were left sleeping on an air mattress for several nights. Once the boxes finally arrived, our place was a huge mess as we (more Addison than me, though) tried to unpack 1200 square feet worth of stuff into 640 square feet worth of space.

4.  Now that we’re all settled in, our apartment really feels like home. It’s small and cozy, especially compared to our 3-bedroom house, but we don’t need a lot of space. Addison did a wonderful job decorating and making the place look nice so it doesn’t feel like we’ve given anything up in moving from our old house to our new apartment. Plus, there are some really great things about our apartment. I love our stained concrete floors, our huge shower / bath tub, and very close underground parking. I also really love our “walk out.”  What I mean by “walk out” is that we have a door in our apartment that leads outside. Because we have it, we can enter and exit our apartment without having to walk through the halls of our complex. This makes our place feel a lot less like an apartment and a lot more like a cozy little house.

5.  Our apartment is in City Park South, a very cool neighborhood of Denver. We’re close to downtown (where the Rockies play and a lot of other exciting things happen like concerts and events), and we’re also very close to Capitol Hill and Uptown, the gay neighborhoods with all the bars we like to frequent. Perhaps the best part is our proximity to City Park; it’s the biggest and, arguably, the best park in Denver. We love walking around its pond and letting Izzie run and play. According to an article I read recently, City Park South is the new “it” neighborhood—with a lot of growing diversity because it’s close to the park and to great restaurants and shops.

6.  As many of you know, my job offer to work at One Colorado, a statewide LGBT political advocacy organization, was one of our primary reasons for moving. And I’m so very happy to say that I absolutely LOVE my job. For years, I said that working at a LGBT organization was what I wanted to do, and I was right. I am so passionate and energized about my work. I get up in the morning and am excited about getting to work. And I don’t even mind the work I have to do sometimes on the weekends and in the evenings.

7.  At my job, in just a month and a half at my job, I have written an op-ed on anti-LGBT bullying in schools; organized a campaign to gather over 1,500 signatures on a petition calling on a US Senate candidate to retract the awful stuff he said about gay people; and planned the roll-out, strategy, and messaging of a political campaign that we’ll launch in January. This is the work I’d been dreaming about doing for years. I’m involved in work that will make a difference in mine and Addison’s lives and in the lives of all LGBT Coloradans. It’s incredibly important, and I feel so lucky to be doing it.

8.  Addison and I are making a lot of great friends here in Denver because we’re so involved in the community. My job requires that we attend a variety of events, and recently, we’ve attended a meet and greet with a Democratic US Senate candidate, a “Transgender 101″ meeting, and a number of political rallies and gatherings. If we were home-bodies in Columbia, we are far from it here in Denver. And we’re loving it. Being out and about is helping us meet people and get plugged into wonderful Denver. We already have as many friends here as we had in Columbia!

9.  If you read our blog regularly, you know that we recently took a little road trip to Boulder (a great, bohemian town) and to the Rocky Mountains National Park, and it was incredible, amazing, sensational. Seriously, the Rocky Mountains are gorgeous. I can’t wait to go back and hike, ski, and just explore. When people talk about Colorado being beautiful, this is what they’re talking about—the Rockies. It’s spectacular.

10.  Addison and I are so happy here in Denver.  But the hardest thing about living in Colorado is being far from family. We really miss our parents, our siblings, and our nephews, and it’s tough to not be able to see them. It’s going to get even harder because we won’t be able to travel to South Carolina for Thanksgiving or Christmas because Addison can’t get any time off from her new job. The holidays are going to be pretty tough and lonely, but we’re hoping to make some fun plans (like snow skiing on Christmas) for staying around here to distract us. We’ll see…

-Jess

I’ve been working and packing for most of the day today, and I’ve had Friends on in the background. It’s one of my all-time favorite shows, and it’s often watched in my household. It provides a reassuring kind of background noise.

I suppose, though, that now is not a good time to watch season 10. Season 10 always makes me sad because season 10 is the end. The end of an era, as Monica says when she and Rachel stop living together.

At the end of season 10, Monica and Chandler move out of the city and into the suburbs, away from their friends. Not far. But still away. And it’s sad. We no longer get to be with these characters, and although the last episode tries to leave you with a sense that things will stay the same between the six, you know it won’t. Things change. People change. Life changes. It’s a sad reality.

That’s where I am today–in a sad reality. I am so excited about my new job. I am so excited about Denver. I am so excited about this adventure with my incredible wife.

But I’m also really sad. I am leaving my family. In fact, yesterday I told my mother goodbye. She’s traveling to New York next week to spend some time with her mother so she was my first goodbye. I can’t tell you how hard it is to think about my mother being so far away from me. I love her so much. She and my dad still take care of me way too much. I suppose I need to grow up, and moving to Denver will make me. But, god, will I miss my mom. And my dad too. They’re amazing people. And I’m leaving them in South Carolina while I head to the wild wild west.

It isn’t just my parents, either. It’s my sister, my brother-in-law, and my nephews. I can’t believe they won’t be 30 minutes away. I can’t believe I won’t babysit for the boys or have dinner with Allyson and Matt. Having them so close has been a treasure, and it’s one I’m losing.

Saturday is South Carolina Pride, and Addison and I will attend the march together. We will join with our friends and walk the streets of Columbia as proud lesbians. Although I know we’ll meet new people and make new friends in Denver, it’s so hard to think about leaving the ones we have. In the past year, we’ve grown so close to so many people, and it is those people that make Columbia what it is. I’m thinking of Rachel saying goodbye to everyone on Friends when she was planning to move to Paris. Addison and I will be saying goodbye. But we won’t be turning back like Rachel. We’ll be moving forward, even though we know it is going to be so difficult.

On Saturday, we will be walking with SC Equality, and this will be my last official act as a Board member. I am so thankful for SC Equality and the effect it has had on my life. Without it, I wouldn’t have realized that my true calling is to work in the GLBT movement. Without it, I wouldn’t have met some of my best friends. Without it, I wouldn’t be who I am. It shaped me, and I hope, in some way, I shaped it, too.

I promise that I’m excited. That it isn’t all sadness. But the last episode of Friendsjust finished, and I’m wallowing after watching it, as I always do. I’ll rebound, and I’ll find my excitement and my energy again. I’ll remind myself of what Addison and I are gaining.

But for a moment, I just want to be sad. Sad for all we are leaving.

And I am.

-Jess

1.) Our new MacBook Pro.  It’s a-freaking-mazing!  It’s pretty, it’s fast, it’s powerful, it’s a Mac.  I love it love it love it!  We’ve been wanting a laptop for forever, and with all of Jess’ freelance work, we could finally afford it/justify paying for a new computer.  We’re keeping the desktop too, for now.  Now Jess can work and I can play at the same time!  So far, we’re loving it!

2.) All of our new technology upgrades.  Because we got a laptop, we had to get new stuff.  We now have wireless internet and Netflix.  You might think the two aren’t related, but you couldn’t be more wrong.  We can now instantly stream movies and TV shows directly to our laptop OR to our TV via the Wii.  Now, I know this is not news to the vast majority of people, especially those who are technologically inclined, but it’s new to me, and therefore a big deal.

3.) Cupcakes from Cupcake in the Vista.  This little cupcake shop has been around for a while, but Jess and I went for the first time last Friday, and I’m hooked.  They’re delicious.  Especially the ones with chocolate icing.  `Nuff said.

4.) My family.  Jess and I have a couple of family things lined up for this week, and I’m really excited about all of them.  We got to start our week by babysitting the boys on Sunday.  Tomorrow night we’re going to dinner with the Stanley’s to celebrate Matt’s birthday.  We’re going to Pawley’s Front Porch, because that’s the only restaurant in downtown Columbia that Allyson will go to.  Just kidding!  But not really.  And then Dad and Mary Alice are staying with us for a few days.  They’ll arrive on Thursday and go back to North Augusta on Saturday.  Elise (my step-sister) is being induced early Friday morning, so they’re in town for the birth of the baby.  It’s a girl.  Her name’s Emma.  So, of course, that’s exciting, too!  All kinds of good family stuff this week!

5.) Power.  We had a storm come through a few hours ago and our power was knocked out for 2 hours.  I know what you’re thinking–that’s no big deal.  Why is she complaining?  And while in the grand scheme of things it isn’t that big of a deal, it meant that I couldn’t cook dinner and that I couldn’t use all of my new technology and that I was stressing out about losing a week’s worth of groceries in the fridge.  I am now uber-grateful to Thomas Edison for making that whole lightbulb thing happen.  And to SCE&G for restoring my lifestyle back to it’s original luster.

-Addison

Is anyone out there familiar with this quote from Tim “The Toolman” Taylor from Home Improvement?  ”Christmas isn’t about spending time with people you like; it’s about spending time with your family.”  This is his response to Randy asking if he can go on a ski trip with his girlfriend.  I used to love that show when I was a kid, and it’s a line that we’ve tossed around in my family every Christmas since that episode aired, Lord knows how many years ago.

I feel lucky because I like my family.  I actually like them a whole lot.  And I married into a pretty great family, too.  Seriously.  Jess and I feel so lucky to have such good relationships with multiple people in both of our families.  It is hands-down our favorite part about living in Columbia–we’re right in the middle of everybody.

The only downside to having all of this wonderful family is trying to see them all on Christmas.  Christmas is, without a doubt, my most favorite holiday of all!  I love baking cookies, decorating the tree, making shopping lists, sipping hot cocoa and apple cider, Christmas carols, Christmas movies, I’m a total sucker for all of that stuff.  Most of all, I like that it makes everyone come together.  It’s hard to wrangle everyone in one place unless you have a really good reason, and besides a funeral, Christmas is one of the few things that gets people in one place.

Jess and I will be all over this year.  We’re starting out with a pre-Christmas meal with Caroline, Steven, AnnMarie and mom at our house on the 21st.  On Christmas Eve, Bob and Ellie are driving down from Easley, and Allyson, Matt, and Cole are coming over for dinner and festivities.  Then we’re going to midnight mass with my dad and Mary Alice at Trinity, the Episcopal Cathedral in downtown Columbia.  Christmas morning we’re getting up and hitting the road.  Our first stop is my stepsister’s house in Lexington, SC, then we’re trucking up to Blue Ridge, GA to spend time with my mom, grandfather, and some extended family.

I’m sure I’ll get stressed out at some point, but right now I’m just plain giddy.  I really love this time of year, and while I’m looking forward to seeing everyone, I’m already sad that it’s all going to be over in 2 weeks.

-Addison

So, fair readers, it’s my birthday, and I’m 27. The big 2-7. That feels grown up to me. Not sure why, but it does. I really feel like an adult today, you know? I’m married. Addison and I are planning our futures—where we’re going to be, what we want from our careers, when we’re going to have kids, etc. It’s a big time in my life so I’ve decided to do some major celebrating for my birthday!

Last night, Bear & Mary Alice (Addison’s dad and step mom) came to see us, and we went out to eat. We had an awesome time. Great food, great wine, great company. It is always so much fun to be with them, and it meant a lot that they visited for my birthday.

Tonight, my lovely wife is taking me to dinner at The Melting Pot, a restaurant we enjoy quite a bit. I’m really looking forward to being with her. She’s my wife, but she’s also my best friend, and I just really love to hang out with her.

Tomorrow night, my sister and crew (her hubby and son) are coming over to hang out. We’ll eat and play Wii or cards and just have a good time. Plus, they’ll get to see our awesome Christmas decorations.  Speaking of decorations, we should really post photos of our newly decorated house. I’ll try to remember to do that (or to ask Addison to).

Other than birthday stuff, things are pretty much the same with the wife and me. We’ve paused our redecorating for the holidays (thank God) so we’re just spending our days shopping for gifts and enjoying the season. It’s our favorite time of year…and our first Christmas together as a married couple. I don’t care how sappy I am–this is a milestone, and I love it (and my beautiful wife)!

-Jess