Addison & Jace ::: en route

1.) Our new Honda Civic!  After 16 months of living in Denver with only one car, Jess and I finally decided to bite the bullet and go for a second vehicle.  Jess’ mom hooked us up with a small loan at a great rate and we were able to get a great deal on a gently used 2002 Civic with less than 100,000 miles.  It only has 2 doors, but it’s super clean, and super cute!  Besides, we have the Subaru when we want to haul around lots of people, or stuff.  And it gets 10 MPG better than the Suby in city and on the highway, so I’m looking forward to getting tags on it, and getting my commute on!  

2.) Facebook.  This might sound like an odd one, but I really like being able to keep up with everyone back home, especially my family.  Jess and I are fortunate enough to talk with our immediate family pretty regularly, but FB has helped me stay on top of my extended family and friends.  (Congrats on the engagement, Blayde!)  I feel like I know some people better now that I can see what they do on a regular basis, and that’s pretty cool.  Plus it will give us something to talk about the next time I’m in town.  

3.) Friends.  When we moved to Colorado we knew it would be tough not having our wonderful friends around, and there are still some people in Columbia we miss dearly.  But in Denver we have managed to befriend some really wonderful people who have very different backgrounds from me and Jess.  Knowing these people has helped me think about things in a very new way, which has been wonderful for my personal growth.  Thank you, Denver friends!  You’re the best a girl could ask for!  : )

4.) Brunch!  Brunch has quickly and easily become my favorite meal here in Denver.  I didn’t really used to get down with this hybrid meal, and frankly I don’t really love breakfast, but brunch has become a staple of our weekend ritual.  On Sunday mornings, we call it “gay church,” because it’s usually our LGBT peeps that accompany us on this outing.  There’s one restaurant in particular that always seems to have friends there on Sunday mornings.  But there are so many good places to eat brunch here!  It almost seems that brunch is a bigger happening than a Friday or Saturday night dinner.  Actually, we’re trying a new brunch place with our friends, Shanna and LP, today!  

5.) My girls.  Jess and Izzie are the highlights of my day, everyday.  Jess is so smart, passionate, and damn good at her job.  She cares so much and works so hard.  And it’s important work.  Really, really important work.  She’s working so the future she and I imagine with such precise detail can become a reality.  She’s fighting for our relationship, our life, every day, and I’m so incredibly grateful for that.  And she loves me fiercely.  I know that she does, and for that I am even more grateful.  Izzie, too!  She gets so excited when we come home from work, and it’s nice to know that there are too “people” who love me no matter what.  I love my little family!  

So I know November is the month of thankfulness, but I always seem to be behind the curve so I’m just going to say what I’m thankful for today, on December 1:

1. Vacation Trip to the Carolinas. Last week, Addison and I spent a delightful week off in the Carolinas. We visited her mom in Asheville, NC; her dad and stepmom in North Augusta, SC; and my family in Easley, SC. It was just wonderful to see everyone and spend time together. From a fabulous trip to Biltmore House to some rousing card playing to a delicious meal of no less than 20 dishes — we were treated to quite a good time. It’s tough to live far away from family and miss everyone all the time — and this visit was so rejuvenating. 

2. Denver. Although seeing family was lovely, being back in the Carolinas, even for just a week, reminded me of why we left. A genderqueer lesbian like me just doesn’t fit in the South. As a result, coming back to Denver has felt really good, really right. After just a year, Denver feels like home to me. It feels like a place that fits us. I’m so incredibly thankful that we’re here.

3. My job. Today, I celebrate two months in my new position: Deputy Director at One Colorado. I started as Online Communications Manager, then became Communications Manager, and now Deputy Director. In just a year, I have been able to learn and accomplish so much, and I’ve been given so many opportunities. After many years of wondering what my path in life really is, I’m so happy that I’ve found work that energizes, challenges, and fulfills me. I’m incredibly lucky.

4. Our friends. It’s tough to be far away from family, but it’s true what they say — sometimes you make your own family. And that’s exactly what we’ve done. With every passing weekend, our calendar fills up as we enjoy dinners and brunches, game playing and events with some of the most incredible people we’ve ever known. We’re so lucky to be surrounded by such awesome folks.

5. Addison. My wife is the most incredible person I know. Everyday, she inspires and supports me. She takes care of me when I’m sick, even though I can be a grumpy bugger. She feeds me and dresses me when I just can’t decide what to wear. She listens to me rant and rave. She makes me laugh, and she surprises me. Addison is truly my other half, and I don’t know what I’d do without her. The work that I do, the battles that I fight for equality, I’m fighting them for her and for the family we hope to have someday.

-Jess

Denver is different.  While Jess and I are really enjoying our new home, there are some things about Denver and Colorado that make me go, “Huh?  What’s going on here?”  I thought I’d share some of our discoveries.  

1.) Denver is dry.  Dry, dry, dry!  I know we’ve been saying that for months, but it doesn’t stop being true!  Dryness is bad for skin, hair, eyeballs (contacts, anyone?).  But it’s great for summer!  Coming from SC, where the humidity is easily 80% or more on a daily basis, the Colorado humidity is amazing!  I have to stifle my giggles when customers come in the bank complaining about 85 degree weather with 30% humidity.  Coloradans aren’t used to it, but to Jess and me, it’s a welcome break from near-jungle conditions.  

2.) Denver is dense.  I’m not talking Manhattan dense, but compared to Columbia, we are having a downright urban experience.  We have neighbors on the other side of our walls in addition to across the street.  We can walk to places that sell things besides white bread and gasoline.  We have to think about where to park our car.  To all you land-owners this might sound dreadful, but we are really enjoying the freedom that comes with no yard work and only one vehicle to maintain.  

3.) Denver is action-packed.  Between the Rockies, Nuggets, Avalanche, and Outlaws, we’ve been to more professional sports games in the past 10 months than in the past 4 years.  Our weekends are jammed with brunches, movies, hikes and casual get-togethers.  And we are loving it!  Don’t get me wrong, we miss everyone we love in SC, but it just seems that we’re getting around more here (and not in a slutty way).  

I’m sure that as we continue to adjust to life in the wild, wild West we’ll find more things that differentiate Colorado from South Carolina.  And I can’t wait to see what’s next.  

It’s been ten months since Addison and I packed up our stuff and our lives in South Carolina and headed west to Colorado. We didn’t know what we’d find when we got here; we were traveling on hopes and dreams. 

What we discovered in the wild west was far more than we expected. In just a few short months, we have fallen in love with Colorado. For so many reasons (listed below for your enjoyment, gentle readers), we have truly come to call Colorado and Denver our new home.

1. Colorado is a beautiful state. You’ve seen me talking about this again and again on the blog as I explore the corners of the most beautiful state in the country. From the majestic, snow-capped Rocky Mountains to Denver’s stellar skyline, Colorado takes my breath away. It really is a wonderful feeling to look around and see beauty all around you.

2. My job is awesome. We moved across the country so that I could take my job as Communications Manager at One Colorado. It was a big risk, but it’s paid off tremendously. I love my work. I love politics and advocacy. I love thinking about the right messaging and building relationships with the media. I love spending my days working for equality for families that look like mine.

3. Addison’s job kicks ass. I always knew my wonderful wife would be a success, but moving to Colorado has catapulted her career forward in a way we never expected. She got a promotion and a pay increase from the job she left in South Carolina, and she’s really kicking ass at her new job. She’s already been given leadership and growth opportunities as well as increased responsibilities. She’ll be running the place in no time!

4. We have amazing friends. Within just a few months, Addison and I have connected with really fabulous, wonderful people. We’re so lucky to have folks in our lives who accept and love us for who we are. From playing cards to going to sporting events to camping (which we’re doing for the first time in September) to drinking infused vodka, we enjoy every minute we spend with our friends.

5. Denver is friendly to LGBT folks. I may be speaking from the sheltered bubble in which I live (living in the gayborhood and working at a LGBT organization), but I have found Denver to be accepting of Addison and me. We feel safe and comfortable walking down the street hand-in-hand and being ourselves in our community. In South Carolina, I used to be stared at all the time for rejecting gender norms, but I don’t turn heads in Denver, a city that attracts lesbians who look like me as well as a slew of straight women who don’t follow gender stereotypes either. It may sound like a small thing, but it feels right to live in a community where you feel accepted and embraced for who you are, whether you follow the rules or not.

6. Denver is a place where I can see us starting a family. Colorado has a second parent adoption law, which will give us the protections we need to bring little ones into the world. More importantly, the lives we are building here are positive and stable and full of love—the perfect setting in which to bring children and to show them the beauty of the world and teach them how to love and accept others. The only thing that would make Denver a better place to start a family is if my parents were here. But I do have to admit that there is a part of me that hopes I can convince them to relocate out west once we start our family. I suppose we’ll just have to see… ;)

Addison and I aren’t willing to make any long-term plans right now—we’ve made too many that haven’t come to fruition—but for now, we’re absolutely loving life in Denver, Colorado, and we’re proud to call it our home.

So Jess and I have moved.  Again.  I know, it’s shocking.  If you’re interested in our defense you can read Jess’ previous post here.  I’m not here to defend, I’m just here to give you an update on how things are in our new place so far.  

We moved in on Thursday (a week ago yesterday).  Naturally we’re almost done decorating, and we’ve been unpacked since Sunday.  We just have a little more art to hang and some plants to get in planters on the balcony.  As much as we dislike moving, we’ve got it down to a science, so the process is usually pretty quick with us.  

The new place really is great!  We have three times the closet space, a storage unit in the basement, the balcony is 25 feet long, the kitchen has granite counter tops, the floors are wood, and the bedroom is bigger.  There is an amazing view of downtown from the Penthouse suite on the 9th floor, and we have a covered, off-street parking space.  The only thing I have to complain about is the bathroom.  It’s tiny.  I mean, it’s average for a bathroom, but we’re used to two sinks and a garden tub, so we feel like it’s tiny.  All in all, if the bathroom is the only thing we have to complain about, I think we’re doing good!  

Our neighbors are much better.  Literally everyone we see stops what they’re doing to introduce themselves.  We’re renting directly from a condo owner, so most of the people who live here own their units, and naturally they want to know their neighbors.  I think they’re planning on having a welcome party.  And I’m sure you’ve seen the sign in the elevator by now.  Seriously, they’re very sweet neighbors.  

And we love love love the neighborhood!  Cheeseman Park is gorgeous.  We’ve walked to Dazbog (our favorite, local coffee place) at least 4 times.  We’re within walking distance to a lot of our friends, not to mention yummy restaurants and bars that I’m just itching to try.  We’re just really glad to finally be in Capitol Hill.  It’s the “gayborhood” of Denver, and we’re excited to experience it.  

After we get fully decorated we’ll have a house warming party, and we’ll post some more pictures of the finished place.  Stay tuned!  

~Addison

I suppose it’s time for Addison and I to come clean. We’re Addison & Jess, and we’re move-aholics.

Whew. That feels better. The truth is out there.

But not really. Because the truth is, we don’t like to move. We just seem to do it a lot, and we’re doing it again in a little less than two weeks. I know what you’re thinking: “Again?”

Yes. Again. This time, we’re moving a little more than one mile away, to a new apartment in Denver.

Why are we moving? Here’s the run-down of reasons:

1. We’ll save a lot of money every month without giving anything up and gaining a lot—same apartment size and many of the same amenities for a lot less money. (Honestly, we probably would have moved for this reason alone, given that we’re a debt-ladden couple who no longer wants to live paycheck-to-paycheck. But there are other reasons / perks of moving too.)

2. We’ll live close to my work—a four-block walk. Living this close to work, we have decided to not bring Addison’s car (which has been living at my parents’ house in South Carolina) out to Denver as we had planned to do in November. Instead, we’re going to sell the car and apply the money to some of our debt. I’ll continue to use a combination of walking and bus riding to get where I need to go.

3. We’ll live in a better / prettier neighborhood that’s close to a park and full of gorgeous old houses to look at while we’re walking Izzie. 

4. We’ll live in the “gayborhood” where many of our friends live.

5. We’ll be able to walk to coffee shops, grocery stores, restaurants, the place where I get my hair cut, and more.

6. We’ll escape all of the fraternity boys and sorority girls living in our current apartment complex.

7. We’ll have hardwood floors and tile instead of carpet and vinyl.

8. We’ll have a huge balcony, a much better kitchen, and tons more storage space.

9. We’ll leave behind the noise and aggravation of an apartment complex with more than 450 units. (Call me an old lady, but I like peace and quiet when I get home.)

10. We’ll live in a place we feel good about because we’re paying a good price for great space and amenities (as opposed to always feeling like we were paying through the nose for a place we only kind of liked).

Of course, I’ll be the first to admit that there are drawbacks to moving, specifically:

1. We actually have to pack and move. No fun.

2. We have to pay a fee to break our lease in our current place. An expected bummer. Still, with all we’ll save every month, we’ll make our money back in no time.

3. Did I mention we have to pack up our stuff and move?

4. We’re moving away from City Park, a park we so love. Fortunately, we’re moving one block away from a different park, Cheeseman Park. I hope we’ll like it as much as we like City Park. One perk we already know of: there are no geese (and therefore, no geese poop) in Cheeseman.

5. We’re giving up a swimming pool and gym in our current place. But, not surprisingly, we’ve used the pool twice and the gym once in 9 months so it’s not a big loss.

6. The one big concession we had to make: we won’t have a washer and dryer in our unit so we’ll have to go down to the laundry room in the building to do laundry. It’s a bummer to be sure, but I’m hoping it will make us a little better about laundry (i.e., not letting it build up and getting it all done at once instead of dragging it out for days).

7. Moving. Really. Sucks.

8. Seriously.

Because of these drawbacks, we didn’t make this decision to move lightly. Most of the annoying things about our building, we could have gotten over and dealt with. Most of the awesome things about our new place, we could live without. But our decision came down not to which apartment was better; it came down to money. 

Addison and I have made the decision to spend the next couple of years really paying down debt and trying to save some money so that we can be better prepared for the future. If we ever want to stop worrying about money every month, if we ever want to start a family, if we ever want to be able to take care of the ones we love as they age—we have to get our finances in order. And our plan starts now, with this move.