Addison & Jace ::: en route

You’re going to think we’re crazy. And we won’t disagree.

You’re going to think we’re really dumb. And we won’t blame you.

You’re going to think we’re seriously the two most confused and most confusing people you’ve ever known. And we’ll admit we probably are.

We’re moving. Again.

I know what you’re thinking. Didn’t you guys just move to Asheville? And didn’t you just come back to Columbia after moving to Asheville and tell us all that you’re sticking around?

Yes. Yes, we did.

But, yes, we’re moving again.

Do you think we’re nuts? So do we.

But we’re moving anyway. And this time we’re going big.

We’re moving to Denver, Colorado.

Take a moment. Let the news sink in. Shake your head, scream if you want. Wonder why we’re freaking crazy people. Ask yourself why you decided to be a family member / friend / colleague / acquaintance of two absolutely idiotic lesbians like us. Consider if it’s worth all this stress and aggravation. It probably isn’t.

Now, let me explain as best as I can. Addison and I were not looking to leave. Back when we moved to Asheville, we wanted to move. In fact, we wanted to move to Asheville. We liked the mountains and the community, and we thought we’d like living there so I looked for a job there. We wanted to move; we found a way to do it; we did it; nothing worked out; we came home.

Today’s story is a little different. The wife and I weren’t really looking to move; I mean, we hadn’t committed to living in Columbia for forever and ever, but we had just returned from Asheville and were ready to take things easy, at least for a little while. Addison was loving life as a teller at Wachovia; I was working for myself as a freelance consultant, and I had both a long-term contract and several short-term projects. Things were good.

But then they got great. I was offered a job as Online Communications Manager at One Colorado in Denver.

This opportunity came a bit out of the blue; I was talking with the organization about a short-term freelance contract, and then things moved to the next level. And, my friends, let me tell you, this is my dream job. One Colorado is Colorado’s gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender (GLBT) equal rights organization; they work day in and day out to advance equality for GLBT individuals and couples in the state. And now I’m a part of the team.

If you’re an avid reader of this blog, you probably remember that I have interviewed with a GLBT organization before. That opportunity didn’t go my way. But this one did. Finally. After almost two years of wishing, wanting, and hoping, I have landed a job at a GLBT organization. I am now a career activist. My work will make a difference.

I am so incredibly excited.

I’m also really terrified. We’re moving far away from the city we know. We’re moving far away from our family and friends. We’re moving again…so soon after the epic fail that was “the Asheville plan.”

But we can’t let fear control our dreams. Working at a GLBT organization is my dream, and if I don’t go for it, I’ll regret it forever. No matter how scared we are about missing all that we’re leaving behind, we must move forward.

So we’re plowing ahead into a world of not-yet-figured-out details. All we know is that I will have a job and that we will be living in Denver. The rest remains to be figured out. Where will Addison work—can she just transfer to another branch within Wachovia / Wells Fargo, or will she have to launch another job search? What will we do with our house in Columbia? What kind of apartment will we get in Denver? Do we need two cars or one in a city like Denver? How do we sell all the furniture that we really don’t need?

Big questions, big stress, big excitement.

Everyone we talk to seems to express a mixture of sadness and excitement. They’re sad we’re leaving but happy for us and our new adventure. And the one thing everyone seems to say: “You’re really going to love Denver.”

We think so. We hope so.

Stay tuned to this blog as we work out the details of our move, pack our shit and haul it across the country, and start a new life in the wild, wild west.

-Jess

Remember a few months ago when we announced The Asheville Plan? It was well thought out and strategically decided upon. It was foolproof and sure to work out perfectly. Right?

Wrong.

I am the queen of bad decisions, and like all the others before it, this one–the Asheville plan–was a wrong decision. We said “Asheville or bust,” and bust we did indeed.

It was a number of things really. A number of circumstances that compounded to destroy what we thought was a totally smart plan.

First, finding a job in Asheville is difficult, even when you’re as smart and cute as Addison. We had no connections in Asheville–no resources from which to draw. And Asheville’s a small mountain town, not a bustling city full of opportunity. It’s tough to find a job all over the country, but it’s especially tough in small towns that can’t support the existing population, much less newcomers to the area.

Second, selling a house is even more difficult than finding a job, as many of you know. Of course, we knew it too. We knew that our house would be a tough sell, but as soon as we moved out of it (me first, followed by Addison), it got even tougher than expected. Houses all around us came on the market, increasing competition. We got bad news from our real estate agent, followed by bad news from the IRS. In short, our house wasn’t going anywhere fast. And as long as we had our house in Columbia to pay for, we couldn’t afford to pay to live in Asheville.

Third, the core of the Asheville plan, when we formulated it, was that we’d be able to live for practically nothing since we were moving into Addison’s mother’s house. This living arrangement would allow us the time to sell our Columbia house and get on our feet financially in a new place. Unfortunately, this living situation didn’t work. I won’t bore you with the long, gory story, but we lost our free place to stay. This was the biggest wrinkle in our plan. If the other factors were headaches, this was like brain surgery. It took us out.

Fortunately, after all of this happened, things became clear pretty quickly, thanks to some sage advice from my mom and dad and Addison’s dad and stepmom. They all suggested that we return to Columbia–to our house and to a place where we have connections that would help both Addison and me find jobs. Once we heard the advice, we were sold. It didn’t just make financial sense and practical sense, it made emotional sense, too.

Almost as soon as Addison and I left, we missed Columbia. Because it’s home. We certainly didn’t realize it, but it is. While we were looking outward, trying to figure out where we wanted to move to and settle, Columbia snuck up behind us and became home. As soon as we left it, we felt like we had lost something. And we had. We lost being close to my sister, my brother-in-law, and our nephews. We lost our friends. We lost our house (though it isn’t perfect or in the greatest neighborhood, we love it). We lost our sense of belonging. It was an awful lot to lose.

So we have returned. We are now back in Columbia for good.

Of course, I no longer have a job. But that’s okay. My job in Asheville was fine, but it wasn’t a dream come true or anything. It was solid and nice, and I could have done it well. But all the signs were pointing us home. So we followed them, and I think we’re going to be happier than we ever imagined we could be.

-Jess

I’m lonely.  This is Jess’ second full week in Asheville without me, and I don’t like it.  At all.  We do everything together, so to be apart, even for 4 days, just feel foreign.  At least I have cable.  Jess doesn’t.  And it’s my week with Izzie, so I have her for company which definitely helps.  She’s warm, and I’m trying to keep the heat at 62 or below because we’re paying utilities in 2 places right now.

But then I think about how lonely Jess must feel.  Having Izzie makes me feel marginally less lonely, so surely it makes her even more lonely, right?  That makes me feel bad.  Real bad.  And Izzie smells funky lately, so she’s not nearly as pleasant to snuggle with as she used to be.

I really have plenty of things I could be/should be doing.  I have papers to file, bills to pay, houses to clean, boxes to pack.  Tonight I got my act together long enough to upload pictures and to write a few blogs, and that’s progress.  Trust me.  I’m sure I’ll snap out of it eventually.  It just won’t happen until I’m up in Asheville with my beloved.  Until then…

-Addison

Greetings, friends!

Today is Friday, the last day of my first week of my new job. Time to celebrate! But I can’t because Addison is in the car on the way to Asheville and not here with me so I can’t celebrate just yet. Instead, I’ll reflect on the week. It’s been a big week, you know.

My first week at my new job went well. Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday, I was in Myrtle Beach at a conference. Although I pretty much hate conferences, I stayed in a nice hotel with a gorgeous view of the beach so that helped me stomach the yuckiness that is schmoozing/networking. I don’t like to schmooze/network although I’m told that I’m pretty good at it…when people approach me. I can’t approach strangers. No matter how much I try to pump myself up, I can’t do it. Maybe I’m crippled by a lesson from childhood: stay away from strangers; they’ll give you poisonous candy. Since I can’t turn down a good piece of chocolate, I must steer clear.

Anyway…the conference did give me lots of time to talk with with my boss. He was really able to give me the lay of the land with regard to his goals and vision for company—so that’s good. Now I know what needs to be done so that I can make it happen…as Vice President. I’m so fancy.

On Wednesday night, I stayed in Columbia with my wife as I was passing through on my way from Myrtle to Asheville. Thursday morning I got up bright and early to make my way up the mountain for my first official day in the office. I got so excited as I crossed the state line and saw residual snow on the ground, greeting me, and beautiful, blue mountains in the horizon. I just love Asheville! I think Addison, Izzie, and I are going to be very happy here.

My first day at the office was uneventful. It’s a different kind of office than I’m used to so I’ll need to make some mental adjustments. It’s a small space so we work in pretty close quarters—quite different from my huge, cushy, all-mine ADCO office—meaning I can hear every sneeze or throat clearing. Perhaps the close quarters keeps everyone quiet because, despite the sneezing and throat clearing, it’s really very quiet around here. That’s something I’ll have to get used to as well. A day didn’t go by at ADCO without someone screaming down the hall; it’s the way we did things. Here, there’s silence. Beautiful for writing kind of silence. A little unnerving on your first day when you’re hoping to make new friends.

I’ve just finished my second day, which was better than the first because I was prepared for both the sneezing / throat clearing and the silence. Plus, a brief but very delightful conversation with one of my co-workers today convinced me that they just need to warm up to me and then we’ll all be best friends. I’ll make them love me, damnit! 

In the spirit of reflection on everything that’s going on and changing in my life, I will end this post with three reflective lists on my excitement and nostalgia.

Things I’m excited about in Asheville and at my new job

1. Snow. I like snow. It snowed last night, like a little welcome for me. It was beautiful.
2. Business planning. I’m thrilled about helping to run this small business.
3. Living in Anne’s house. It’s gorgeous, and though it needs a lot of work, there’s just something special about it.
4. Being a creative director. For the past year, I have believed that a creative director should be someone who sets the strategy and direction for the creative while an art director should set the style and tone. This wasn’t the set-up at ADCO, but it is the set-up here, and I like it because I get to be a creative director.
5. Walking from my office to get lunch or coffee. No car needed. I can pop next door into Atlanta Bread for coffee, or I can grab greek across the street for lunch.

Things I’ll miss about Columbia and my old job

1. Mr. Friendly’s. My favorite Columbia restaurant; they tweet out their specials to make me miss them.
2. Lora. Even though she drove me crazy A LOT of the time, I had a close relationship with my boss, and I will miss her a lot. She is the reason I stayed at ADCO as long as I did.
3. Comfort. There’s something comfortable about knowing a place. I knew Columbia. I knew how to get around and how to get my hands on what I needed. You lose that when you move. Luckily, you eventually find it again.
4. Full-service agency. Although I am very excited about further immersing myself in the world of new media, I will miss being able to work on traditional projects, like brainstorming a TV spot or writing a headline for an ad.
5. Friends / Family. We didn’t have a lot of friends, but the ones we had were pretty special. I’ll miss them terribly. And I’ll miss Allyson, Matt, Cole, and their soon-to-arrive little one. It was really nice to be so close, and I’ll miss them a lot. I comfort myself with the fact that I know they want to end up back in the upstate where they’ll likely only be an hour away.

Things you can buy me as “farewell” or “congrats on your new job” gifts

1. An Apple iPad. Yes, I want one, no matter how bad the name is.
2. GPS. I don’t know where I am in this city.
3. Laptop. My desktop is getting a little old and rusty.
4. Paint. We’ve committed to painting some of Anne’s house…gulp.
5. New Pair of Jeans. I’m allowed to wear jeans at my new job (I wasn’t technically allowed to at ADCO, but I did anyway because I’m a rebel) so I need a new pair. The two pairs I have are not looking so good.

-Jess

It’s been a week since I made our big moving announcement—and a week since I promised to give you more details on what we affectionately call “the asheville plan.” Sorry for the delay in sharing the specifics; we’ve been swamped with moving stuff.

But good news, fair readers, your wait is finally over. I’m here to air out all our dirty laundry…or just to tell you about our plan…the asheville plan.

My Job
I will be taking a job at Synergy Point, a web development company located in the Biltmore Village part of town (South Asheville area). My title is Vice President, and my responsibilities will be in the areas of branding, marketing strategy, and social media. Basically, my coming takes the firm from a simple web development group to a full-fledged online marketing company. I’ll spend most of my time working with clients who want to market their website strategically—in addition to helping the President “run” the company.

The most exciting part of this job is that I’ll be in an executive-level position that will allow me the opportunity to actually run the business. I am thrilled about working hand-in-hand with the President to lead the company and move it forward. For the past year, I’ve really been interested in business strategy, operations, and the like so this move is a great opportunity to really get into the business of running a small business.

I’m very excited about my first six months at Synergy Point because there are a number of important tasks to be completed. Specifically, I’ll likely be leading the company through a re-branding process, and I hope we’ll be redoing or renovating all of their marketing materials (new website, new logo, new stationery, etc.). Then I’ll work on expanding / growing / improving their services, specifically in the areas of interactive branding, marketing strategy, and social media.

Addison’s Job
Addison’s plan is a little bit more up in the air than mine. She is really hoping to get into nursing school as soon as possible. It’s something she’s been talking about and thinking about for a long time, and now that we’re moving, she’s finally ready to take the plunge and go for it. I’m super proud of her.

Addison has found a school she likes, and they are on a quarter calendar (not semester) so they have openings in the coming months. As soon as they receive her transcript, she’ll know more about when she’ll start and how long it will take her to complete the program.

If it will be a while before she can start school, Addison will hit the pavement in search of a job in Asheville. She isn’t planning on leaving her current job until she has a new one lined up or until she starts school. So, for at least a little while, we’ll be separated. She’ll be living in Columbia; I’ll be living in Asheville. I’m not at all excited about this, but we’re trying to make smart decisions. Financially, it’s best if we’re both working.

I really hope that Addison can get into school quickly and get her program done. I’m sure she’ll post here as soon as she has more information about what exactly she’ll be doing.

Living Situation
This week, I will be moving some of my things in Addison’s mom’s vacant house. She had been renting the house out, but the renters moved so now the place is all mine. I’m not bringing much up because the house has a lot of furniture that I can use. When Addison moves up, she’ll go ahead and bring everything else. Then we’ll begin the process of decorating and doing some cosmetic renovations to her mom’s house. We’ve committed to help her with projects like painting so we’ll be spending our weekends working, and you’ll likely hear about it here.

Addison’s mom is currently living in Manhattan and won’t be moving back south until May. So we’re committed to living in her beautiful, big, historic house at least until then. Depending on how things shake out, we may even stay there longer, to save money and such. We’re extremely grateful that Anne (Addison’s mom) has agreed to let us live in her home; I’m not sure we could be chasing “the asheville plan” without her.

So that’s it. That’s the Asheville Plan. I move and start my job. Addison follows as soon as she can. We live in an amazing house with a winter view of the mountains. I can’t wait. There are definitely things I’ll miss about Columbia (I feel another blog entry coming on), but I’m so excited about Asheville. And I’m so excited about this adventure with Addison. Moving is the biggest decision we’ve made together as a married couple. And it was a hard one to make. I had other job opportunities to consider; Addison had school to consider; we both had to consider location and cost and lifestyle. It took us a while to get to this point, but we’re here. And we’re so excited about taking this step together. We’ve moving to a community we love, to opportunities that are promising, to a future that’s bright.

-Jess

You may have noticed that, prior to my recent post about parking in the power space, all was pretty quiet on the blog front. Our silence is a result of two reasons:

1. I’ve been working a lot on the look of the blog, which you may have noticed keeps changing on you. Messing with the way the blog looks and functions takes awhile, thus depleting me of any time I might spend actually blogging. Unfortunately, I still don’t think I’m happy with the set-up of the blog so expect more changes.

2. The biggest reason why we haven’t been blogging is that we have a secret. Our lives have been pretty much consumed with some big changes that are happening very soon, but we haven’t really been able to talk about anything. Until now…

Attention: here comes a big announcement. Stop shoving that Big Mac down your throat, turn off Cher’s “I believe in life after love,” and pay attention. This is B-I-G.

Addison and I are moving.

Okay, maybe the news isn’t that big. People move all the time. Everyday, in fact. But the news feels big to us, and I’m so glad we can finally share it.

If you’re a regular reader of this blog, you’re probably not shocked about the move because you know that we’ve been really thinking about where the hell we want to live and keeping our eyes open for opportunities. We’ve looked far (Boston, DC, California, etc.) and near (right here in good old Cola) for the perfect situation—one that provides us with professional fulfillment and a whole lot of quality of life. And about half way through the process, we realized that there is no perfect. There is “pretty awesome, not bad, okay, sucky, and totally shitty”—but no “perfect.” So we’re shooting for a “pretty awesome” in…

…drum roll please…

ASHEVILLE, NORTH CAROLINA.

Yes, gentle readers, Addison and I will be moving to Asheville and embarking on the next phase of our journey together. I start a brand spanking new job on Monday, February 1, and Addison will likely be joining me around February 15 after she gets some of her ducks in a row. Yay!

We’re both pretty damn excited about this plan. We’ve talked about and considered Asheville for quite some time now, probably over a year. It’s a beautiful place surrounded by gorgeous mountains; it’s close to our families; it isn’t a terribly expensive place to live; it offers an array of cultural and recreational opportunities; and it has a thriving, active lesbian population.

I’ll admit that there were times that we took Asheville off our list of potential places to live because we were seduced by the bigger cities like Atlanta, San Francisco, Boston, and Washington, DC. But it clawed its way back on the list because of family. Asheville isn’t a big city, but it’s a beautiful, small city that’s close to all the people we love. It isn’t the gay mecca we thought we’d be heading to, but it’s a great place, and it deserves a shot. We couldn’t justify moving far away to some big, bustling, fast-paced city (which I’ve done before and returned from) before we tried to find “home” close to family.

I want to tell you about my new job and about Addison’s plans, but I’m going to make you wait until next week. But don’t worry, next week I promise I’ll blog all about my new job and how I feel about leaving ADCO, and I’ll ask my lovely wife to spend some time telling you her new adventure.

Until then, just marinate on the fact that we’re moving. We’re leaving Columbia behind and heading to the mountains, hopefully to find a great community and fewer people who stare at me. Yippee!

-Jess